Coffee Table Books are Pretentious
What is the point of a coffee table book?
Picture this, you walk into a friends home. Maybe it’s a date, maybe you’re buying a used peloton, it’s irrelevant. You walk in and on the coffee table there is an ungodly large book. We’ve all seen this. The dreaded coffee table book.
The coffee table book (CTB from now on) has become a staple in a lot of homes. When I was growing up it was magazines but in a growing age of flexing for strangers, massive books that no one has considered reading, or even opening, has replaced “People” or “Sports Illustrated” or “Highlights”, you get the idea. A lot of the time you can buy these books as a set and they’re color coordinated. It’s gross. With all that being said, of course I have a CTB.
I am a disgusting east coast elitist, millennial, who spends all day on social media. Of course I’m also a pretentious asshole with a CTB! The big difference for me and hopefully for you after reading this, is you need to get a book you’ll actually consider opening from time to time. Hear me out, if you have a CTB you’re already an asshole, why be an asshole with a Tom Ford book, matching Cereal City Guides or perhaps the worst of them all the dreaded architecture books (ex. Atlas of Mid-Century Modern Houses). If you’re a model/designer or a big time traveler or an architect, fine. I’ll give you a pass. There’s always an exception to the rule, right? The point is if you’re already okay with looking pretentious then just get something with some substance, ideally something that you’re also interested in.
For me I have a big honking copy of The Divine Comedy by Dante Alighieri.
Can I own this book and not have it prominently out in the open? Of course, but then anyone who comes over might not see it and then I don’t get the satisfaction. You know the difference between me owning The Divine Comedy and a copy of Tom Fords picture book? Just that, it’s not a picture book. There is nothing wrong with buying whatever you enjoy that’s exactly what you should do. Don’t let me sway you to buy something you won’t open but if you’re not going to open the picture book more than twice (you and I both know you won’t) then who is it going to hurt if the book you buy has actual words in it?
I didn’t know this until I started writing this diatribe but if you google “coffee table books” the only things that pop up are exactly what I described. Again, if you really like Gucci buy a Gucci picture book but I am urging you, no I am begging you, grab something with some substance. I can almost guarantee you you’ll save a penny or two, as well.
I’ve started reading more in the last year plus and as dumb as it sounds getting into reading is intimidating a little. I’m not sure why but it is. If you are willing to buy a book, any book, lets make it something that might help you start to read more. Let your CTB be a stepping stone into a new world.
A couple options to consider:
The Divine Comedy
Essential Kafka
War and Peace
Crime and Punishment
Out of that group I think The Divine Comedy gives more CTB vibes but at the end of the day a CTB is a book (should be a hardcover) with a lot of pages. Remember, CTB are pretentious, a lot of pages helps push that over the edge.
I have finished Go Up For Glory by Bill Russell and it will be my first book review. I’m hoping to write and post it soon but I’m probably going to wait until next week.
Thank you to everyone who subscribed and shared this newsletter, I’m having fun writing into a screen again.
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I grew up with a giant book called The New Yorker on the coffee table, but secretly inside it was all the cartoons ever put in the New Yorker for the past 70 years.